Happy Birthday, Kennedy Anne!

*** Disclaimer: I am an over-sharer. While there are no real gory details, some stuff may be TMI.
I also tell every little detail, so this is super long. But I want record of it. You have been warned.***

Nelson's mom and sister were staying with us for the weekend since they came in for my shower, so we planned on going to church and then lunch before they had to head back to Houston. We got to Austin Stone for the 9:15am service on time (that was a first!). I remember looking at my watch to see the time at one point because we were wondering if we had the service start time confused and it was 9:30am. As we stood singing for the first part of the service, I noticed that I was getting some mild period cramps, something I'd never had before. It would be a small cramp and then go away, and a little bit later I would feel it, again. No big deal since it wasn't painful; more just a, "Oh, I forgot how much those sucked" kind of thought. But coincidentally enough, Lindsay was telling me while shopping about how it felt when she went into labor with Jackson, and she described it as period cramps. But this surely couldn't be it since they were coming and going, and I had bet her's were consistent. (You're kind of in denial / oblivious to things when it's really so obvious.)

While we were sitting for the service, I noticed that my tailbone would suddenly be sore, but then the pain would go to the front and it would be the period cramps. My tailbone had been hurting the past several weeks, depending on what kind of chair I was sitting in. A friend had guessed my hips were widening even further, so my tailbone was lowering and I was potentially sitting on it. Since the church is held in a middle school gym, they use plastic folding chairs, and I knew that had to be it. I was trying to focus on the service, but also wondering if these period pains were getting closer together or further apart.... I couldn't really tell, but they still weren't really painful, mostly just an annoyance.

After the service ended, I chatted with Allison a bit and introduced her to Nelson's mom and sister. We headed out to the car, and I noticed that those period cramps were getting a little more bothersome. Lindsay and I were texting about needing to give something to my mom before they went back to Southlake that day and she asked when we get out of church. I responded at 10:53am:

"We just got out. And between you and me, all throughout, my spine would kinda hurt and then it'd turn into a twisting sting pain at the front, just above my pelvis, feeling it inside to my vagina. But then it goes away, only to come back. Uhhhh... ????"

I figured describing it to her the best I could would help her determine if this was labor or not. Because, you know, she's my doctor and all :) We got to Maudie's and the lot was pretty full, so Nelson had to park in another section. This walk to the restaurant wasn't long, but long enough that the pain started to get worse. When we sat at our table, I went to use the restroom. I sat on the toilet thinking, "What is this? Is this it? Surely it can't be. I'm not even 36 weeks. We're packing our bags and setting up tomorrow." I was basically freaking out all by myself in the stall. I went back to the table and I couldn't stop thinking about it. Nelson had his coffee and they were eating a basket of chips and salsa. I sat there and couldn't stop thinking about all the what-if's. I wasn't scared of labor or childbirth; it was more scared of the fact that I would officially be all grown up. I would be a mother. I started to tear up and quickly got up before anyone saw. Nelson asked if I was ok, and I said that I was; I was just uncomfortable and was going to take off my belly band (I'd been wearing a back support band the past several weeks to help take the load off). Truth was, I was uncomfortable from the belly band because my belly had dropped so much.

Here I am around 11:20am, back in the bathroom, but this time in the handicap stall. I quickly took off the belly band and kind of paced the stall. What is happening to my body?! IS THIS IT?! I got a text from Nelson asking, "Honestly, is everything ok?" And I just replied that I was uncomfortable. I left the stall and got back to the table to a wide-eyed Nelson and family. His mom suggested we go home so that I could lie down, and I did not argue. On the way out, Nelson asked me what was going on and I confessed that I'd been feeling this weird cramp in my lower belly all during church, and it was finally getting more painful. He asked if they were contractions, but I didn't know - how could I? I'd never been in labor before! He asked if I was timing them, which I wasn't, so I quickly downloaded a contraction tracker app and started pressing that "Start" and "Finish" button on the way home. 

I texted Lindsay on the way to let her know she may not want to leave Austin yet, and that we were going home so I could lie down. She responded that I may have overdone it with all the walking at The Domain the previous day and she would call me when she left church.

When we got home, I quickly went into the bedroom and lied on my side towards the center of the bed. I had timed enough that they were about 30-45 seconds long, and around 4 minutes apart. Seriously, everything they tell you in the childbirth class goes out the window when it's the real deal because I don't remember thinking about any of that stuff. Luckily Nelson had the right mind to call the emergency nurse's line. He told her what I'd done the previous day, and she said that it was hot and I walked a lot, so I may be dehydrated. I needed to drink a big glass of water and lie horizontal for an hour to see if it goes away. I drank the water, and then instructed Nelson he should probably go ahead and pack bags for us just in case. I instructed him on where the comfy bras and new pajamas I'd gotten when shopping with my mom a couple weeks before were. My toiletry bag is already stocked with most of my stuff, so that was easy for him. But he was totally clueless when packing for himself. He pulled out several pairs of underwear and asked, "Ok, what else?" I was like, "You're just going to wear underwear? Don't you need clothes?" Evidently his mom was standing outside our room listening and laughing at the conversation. I also made sure he put the carseat in the trunk of the car, because that was also something we were doing the next day. Oops!

It's all kind of a blur after that, but there are some things that stand out. Nelson came in at one point looking at his phone and asking, "So is your stomach hard? What does it feel like?" I guess he was on a page describing false labor or Baxton Hicks (and secretly hoping that's what it was). But I couldn't answer his questions and quickly got annoyed. With each contraction, I was grabbing at Nelson's pillow, my snoogle body pillow, and the duvet. I would just clinch them as I writhed from side to side. I also remember Nelson's mom coming in to see if I needed anything and she started rubbing my shoulders. Normally I love it when she rubs my shoulders, it feels so good. But I needed her to stop immediately. I could not take someone touching me. (Sidenote: Nelson said he remembers them talking about how all of your other senses are heightened during labor, so I guess this was the case?)

Around 12:15pm, after only 30 minutes of lying down, I decided I couldn't take it any longer and didn't want to wait for the full hour. I wanted to leave for the hospital now. Soon after we got in the car, Lindsay called. I let her know we were driving up. I may have cried? I was still scared! But she told me she loved me, was proud of me, and knew I could do it. I didn't think to call my mom since Lindsay was going back to her house. Besides, I had a few other things on my mind. But I still got a text from her during the drive that said, "When were you going to tell your mother?" Let's just say I had some choice words before calling her in pain and talking for a minute before another contraction came.

We were stopped at a stop light in the neighborhood when, all of a sudden, I had to throw up. I quickly rolled down the window and spewed all down the side of the car. I was hoping for more of a projectile vomit, but it wasn't. If only the cars around us knew I was actually in labor and not just hung over on a Sunday afternoon. I asked Nelson if we should turn on the hazards so people knew we were an emergency car, so we did. Well that didn't last long because the sound was so terribly annoying, I told him to turn it off. (I guess that's the heightened sense thing?) I also texted Nelson's workout buddy whose wife is an L&D nurse at the hospital. He told Nelson to let him know when it was time so his wife could call up and try to hook us up with a big room. I let him know, "Not sure if this is it, but it effing feels like it." 

With each contraction, I was grabbing the seat belt, pulling it down, pushing it away from me. At one point, I lowered my seat so I was laying down, but I eventually sat back up. The ride was pretty quick, and that's probably because Nelson was going 85mph. If you know Nelson at all, he doesn't always go the speed limit (he goes under, not over). So the fact that he was going 20 over was amazing. I did notice we were weaving through what little traffic there was (thank God!), which he also doesn't normally do. But he got us to St. David's Women's Center in record time!

We pulled up to the drop-off area they had talked about during the childbirth class around 1:00pm. When I got out, I tried pouring some of my water on my vomit. The drive had dried it to the car - ugh. I remember telling Nelson sorry and then walking into the building. As we waited for the elevator, I had to squat down to be more comfortable... and I guess I should mention I was wearing a dress? But I did not care. The guy at the front desk asked if we needed a nurse or wheel chair and I forcefully said, "No!" I just wanted to get up there stat and not wait for anyone to come down.

After walking into the delivery wing, we had to check-in at a desk. The guy handed me a sheet of paper with some fields highlighted that I needed to fill out. I remember thinking, "Are you kidding me?" with an expletive in there, but I started writing. I was almost done when I felt a contraction coming and quickly handed it to Nelson to finish. The guy was sitting on the other side of his desk as I was practically leaning over it / on top of it. I just couldn't stand up straight for that one.

A nurse, Jolie, took us to a triage room and handed me a gown. She instructed me to take everything off and the gown opens to the back. She'd come back in and they would hook me up to the contraction machine to confirm they were, indeed, contractions. As I removed my clothes, I found that my underwear was full of blood. Blood during pregnancy = bad. I told Nelson to tell the nurse and he came back with a response from her that it was "normal show". How did they never tell us to expect this as "normal"??? Someone said later that it was the mucus plug and everything, which we'd been warned of, but nobody mentioned blood....

I had just put my gown on when another contraction was coming, so I laid across the bed facing towards the door. Again, couldn't stand straight. But since the gown was open in the back, my bare rear was sticking out. Sweet Nelson commented, "Oh, we need to tie your gown," and proceeded to attempt tying the gown closed. I quickly growled, "Just leave it!" He didn't know how to react, so he kind of laughed, and then I growled, "Stop laughing!" There were probably some expletives in there, too.

The nurse FINALLY came back in and hooked me up to the machine. Yup, these were contractions! I remember thinking, "If these aren't contractions, then labor is going to be terrible!" She instructed me to scoot forward so she could check my cervix, and she then announced I was 8cm and had a bulging bag (my water hadn't broken, so was essentially bulging out my cervix and ready to pop). My first thought was, "Holy sh*t, I'm 8cm?!" And then I immediately announced to Jolie that I wanted an epidural. She said I'd be taken to a room and they'd get one for me.

As Jolie was wheeling me to my room, I told her that I hadn't had my 36 week appointment (since I was technically 35 weeks 6 days) so I didn't know how Baby Girl was positioned. She goes, "Oh, she's head down." I asked how she knew, and she responded, "Because I could feel her head." WHAT?! So crazy to think my baby was that close to being in the outside world. 

She pushed me into my room and there were several nurses in there getting things prepped. One was setting up the delivery table, laying out all the various scissors, knives, etc., and another was setting up the baby table with the scale, blankets, etc. Jolie announced that I was Holly and already 8cm dilated. The all exclaimed how great that was and I was awesome. I certainly didn't feel awesome as I moaned in pain with each contraction, but one of the nurses reminded me to take deep breaths and focus on that. They also made the comment (maybe not at this moment, but at some point) that I would need to come to the hospital at the first signs of labor with any future babies considering how quickly my first went. I kept reminding Jolie that I wanted an epidural. She said that I would need blood work first, then Dr. Akin (the doctor on call) could call it in, and then the anesthesiologist could come do it.

At this point, some guy came in to verify some information. He said our names and read our address, but it was wrong. It was our old address. And then he read something else that was wrong, I can't remember what. But just then a contraction was starting and while Nelson was politely correcting him, I growled, "I pre-registered already!" Seriously, what is it with these people and paperwork when you're in labor?!

Jolie gave me an IV bag of penicillin since I hadn't had my Group B Strep test and my blood was drawn. After that, she gave me an update that she had someone personally walk my blood down to the lab. I asked how long it would take to get the results, and she said 10 or 15 minutes. While that doesn't sound like long, it was an eternity considering my contractions were super close and I was already exhausted. It's amazing how tired I was, and when one would end, I just wanted to close my eyes and rest. But the next one soon began and I'd be in pain, again. I asked then how long it'd take for the anesthesiologist to come in and she had to tell me she really didn't know. Evidently I'd come in with about four or five other women. My response? "I'd like to be first in line, please." She smiled and said she'd do what she could. At this point, Nelson told me I needed to be nice because they were doing what they could. I said I was being very nice; I was just being persistent.

And it worked! Because not long after, a girl came in with an epidural cart. Of course, she started opening drawers and commenting that she was out of stuff. Never announce this in front of someone who is literally dying for your drugs. All I could think was, "HOW DO YOU NOT HAVE A PREPARED CART???" Finally she came to my bed and instructed me to swing my legs over the side of the bed and bend over a pillow. I did as instructed and simply had to let them know when I was getting a contraction so she could stop. During one, I got really scared that she wasn't going to be able to finish because I realized I was fully dilated. My stomach did this weird push-down thing and it took a lot in me to not push. But she finally delivered that sweet, sweet drug... and nothing happened. I was told it would take 15-20 minutes to go into effect, probably the latter since I was already so far along and it was playing catch-up. But she pointed out a button I could push to administer more (and I couldn't overdose on it), so I started clicking away like crazy. Sure enough, mine took about 20 minutes to fully work and numb my contractions. One thing that scientists should try to fix is how the epidural works from the toes up, so your belly is literally the last thing to go numb. What's the point in numb feet and knees if I'm still in pain??? I pointed out to Jolie, though, that I wasn't totally numb; I could still feel the contractions. It wasn't painful, but I could tell when I was getting one on the right side. She said I probably wouldn't go completely numb since, again, I was so far along. But that it would help when pushing since I would know when I was having a contraction.

Once I was good and calm, Nelson realized he needed to move the car and I asked Jolie for a rag so he could clean off my vomit. I let him know he could instruct our family in the waiting room they could come in. But as soon as he left, Dr. Akin came in to check me. Sure enough, I was 10cm, so he broke my water and told Jolie I was ready to push. She told me we'd get started once Nelson returned. And I apologized to her for being so crazy about that epidural. She laughed and told me I really wasn't bad; some women are flat out mean.

Almost right after, in walk my mom and sister, Nelson's mom and sister, and John. I don't know why, but seeing them made me start crying, and then Lindsay started, too. They were all excited and congratulating me on becoming a mother soon and how happy and proud they were. But I was still just really scared about everything in general. We didn't talk long before Nelson returned and my mom told him I was ready to push. He thought she was kidding because the doctor had Lindsay do several penicillin IV bags before pushing with Jackson, but Dr. Akin is more old school (much like Dr. Cowan) and didn't think that was necessary. Everyone left, and Jolie instructed Nelson to hold my right leg and she would hold my left. And we started.

I know there's a lot of debate on epidurals, but it really was amazing. I'd labored long enough that I knew what the pain was like. Props to women who do that for the entire thing. However, my pushing experience was awesome! I'd do three pushes per contraction, and then Jolie, Nelson, and I would just chat until the next one (which I could feel coming). It was so calm and casual. 

Nelson had commented all throughout my pregnancy that he would not look. I was curious, but he did not want to see that and, thus, would not. Well since he was holding my leg, he was right there in all the action. And Jolie commenting, "I can see her hair!" didn't help his curiosity, so he looked. He let me know she had a lot of dark hair haha. He even pulled out his phone and opened the camera with reverse lense so I could see (but didn't take a picture - thankfully).

After about 20 minutes of pushing, Jolie instructed me to stop and not do any more. She called Dr. Akin, and in he came along with several other nurses. I only pushed for another 5 or 10 minutes and I was told her head was out. Nelson looked to see, and then looked at me. That's when I gave one big final push and the shoulders came out along with the whole body. At that exact same time, Nelson looked back and saw it all, but also Jolie pushed my body upright so that I could see. It was unreal and there really is no way to describe it. But immediately I heard the shrieks of my daughter. My daughter. It was 4:07pm.

I started to cry. Nelson started to cry. And Dr. Akin told us she was feisty haha. She was kicking and her little arms were flailing. I guess most preemies are a little more subdued when they're born, but not Baby Girl. They placed her on my tummy to wipe down, and then handed her up to me so that I could hold her. She was beautiful and wonderful... and kind of sticky. Nelson looked at us and said, "She's precious." And at that moment, he felt a love for someone he'd never felt before and was totally and completely smitten.

They eventually took her off my chest to weigh her, get her foot prints, and all those other necessary details. Nelson snapped pictures and sent them to family. And they soon brought Baby Girl back to me so that I could continue the skin-to-skin time. Nelson and I just gazed at her little face. We were in awe that we made this tiny little human, and she was our's. 

After Dr. Akin was done with his job and left, Jolie said family could come back if we wanted. I knew they were all dying out there, so we invited them back. Jolie kept asking if I needed anything, and I told her, "No, I'm good. I'm only high maintenance when I want my epidural." :) Lindsay got to be the first person to hold her, something I'd thought about long before that day (and was afraid wouldn't happen since we assumed she'd be in Southlake when I went into labor). But Baby Girl was passed around to everyone to hold and admire, and many pictures were snapped. Video was taken as they brought the cart in to give her a sponge bath, get her shots, and other things they used to do in the nursery but could now do in-room.

And yes, we still didn't have a name. We were so torn! After family left for dinner because I'd be going to postpartum soon, we really discussed it. We finally decided on Kennedy. It seemed more appropriate given Dr. Akin's description of her, I don't know why. We'd always been talking about a different middle name, but at the last minute Nelson threw in Anne, my middle name. And we ultimately decided that had to be it.

And without further ado, I introduce you to Kennedy Anne Chang, 5lb 15oz and 19in <3